Each of the "Three Little Men" has their own personality, likes, desires, quirks, and passions; we all do, and it's what makes our world an incredible melting pot of cultures and activities. Every individual's contribution to society, whether out of passion or necessity, has given us the world we see, touch, hear, smell, and taste all around us every day. As parents, we love to share our lives and childhood memories with our children, finding a balance between guiding them and allowing them to find their own path in life. Parenting gets a bit complicated sometimes as there are quite a few factors influencing it, like our own background, religious beliefs and what we witness on television or in movies. All of this creates an almost biased approach to parenting. We make a conscious effort to guide "The Three Little Men," providing them with the building blocks they need, but it is up to them to use those blocks to their best advantage, without fear of judgement or worry that their true selves will ever be questioned by their parents. We cannot control the rest of the population, but we can and will always be our children's safe space.
We all have our own ideas of how children should act and what they should grow up to be. However, it is important to remember that no two children are alike; each one has their own strengths, weaknesses, and passions! It is essential for kids to be the unique individuals that they are in order for them to grow into happy and healthy adults!
Children who are allowed to be themselves grow up with stronger self-worth and self-esteem. They feel more confident in their abilities and are more likely to pursue their interests, even if they are unconventional. Empowering children to be their authentic selves not only promotes autonomy and independence, but also encourages them to take risks and make decisions without any adult intervention.
Here's how we can help children express their unique personalities: be a cheerleader, don't judge, and never forget to have some fun! Let's make sure our kiddos grow up feeling confident and secure in their own skin.
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Listen to Your Child: It is essential to listen to your child and understand their thoughts and feelings. Take the time to have conversations with them, ask questions, and actively listen to what they have to say. When little ones know their voice is valued, it boosts their confidence and gives them the courage to take charge!
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Encourage Exploration: Give your kids the chance to take a peek at different hobbies and activities! Sign them up for extracurricular activities, explore new places, or even let them experiment with whatever catches their eye at home. Who knows? They may find their true passion!
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Celebrate Differences: Kids are special, with their own unique talents and imperfections. Let's not try to fit them into a box but rather embrace and appreciate what makes them unique! Help your kid let their uniqueness shine! Differences are what make people awesome and if they learn to embrace them early in life, it’ll be a superpower of sorts!
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Provide Positive Feedback: Praising and recognizing your child when they do well is a great way to boost morale! Be sure to shower your little one with positive reinforcement and recognize even the littlest of successes - it'll have them beaming with confidence.
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Avoid Comparisons: Don't fall into the trap of comparing your child to other kids - it's dangerous and can be very damaging. Whether it's grades, sports, or social skills, every human being is unique – and that includes your little one! Parents, please don't compare kids - it's just not cool and can have a serious impact on their self-esteem. Instead, celebrate their unique gifts and help them develop those special talents.
The research is clear: kids should be allowed to do their own thing, it will pay off in the long-term! According to a study by the American Psychological Association, when kids are encouraged to express their true emotions and be themselves, they have higher self-confidence, and are able to better cope with challenges.
Want your kid to do well at school? Make sure you're encouraging and supportive of their interests and talents. According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, this can help them achieve higher levels of academic success and engagement.
Allowing kids to be themselves has a bunch of benefits not only for their mental health, but also for the relationships they have with others. Kids who feel comfortable expressing themselves are way less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, plus they have great connections with adults and peers!
Even though it's important to let kids have fun, that doesn't mean you can forget about discipline or structure. You still need to provide guidance and establish boundaries, but make sure you give them the freedom and support they need to pursue their interests and passions.
Giving kids the freedom to express themselves is key for their growth and general happiness. Parents should promote exploration, recognize individuality, give praise, not compare and contrast and always listen to their little ones — all of which will help them stay true to who they are! The advantages of giving kids the freedom to express their individual personalities are plentiful. Kids with higher self-confidence and resilience usually tend to outperform academically, in addition to having better mental wellbeing. Stop the frowns and let the little ones show their true colors! As parents and guardians, it's our duty to provide the environment and guidance for kids to grow into their own weird and wonderful individual selves - after all, that's what makes us all special!
Sources:
American Psychological Association. "Letting children experience emotions." ScienceDaily. ScienceGrolnick, W. S., & Ryan, R. M. (1989).
Parent styles associated with children's self-regulation and competence in school. Journal of Educational Psychology, 81(2), 143-154. doi: 10.1037/0022-0663.81.2.143
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
Laible, D. J., & Carlo, G. (2004). The differential relations of parent and peer attachment to adolescent adjustment. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 33(2), 83-96. doi: 10.1023/B:JOYO.0000013288.55384.58
Kim, S. Y., Chen, Q., Wang, Y., Shen, Y., & Hou, Y. (2018). Parent-child acculturation profiles as predictors of Chinese American adolescents' academic trajectories. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(7), 935-945. doi: 10.1037/fam0000454
Mandara, J., Gaylord-Harden, N. K., Richards, M. H., & Ragsdale, B. L. (2009). The impact of exposure to violence on academic skills and school functioning in urban African American youth. Journal of School Violence, 8(2), 132-149. doi: 10.1080/15388220902943014
Sroufe, L. A. (1997). Emotional development: The organization of emotional life in the early years. Cambridge University Press.
Eisenberg, N., Fabes, R. A., & Spinrad, T. L. (2006). Prosocial development. Handbook of Child Psychology, 3, 646-718. doi: 10.1002/9780470147658.chpsy0313
Eccles, J. S., & Gootman, J. A. (Eds.). (2002). Community programs to promote youth development. National Academy Press.
Eccles, J. S., & Midgley, C. (1989). Stage-environment fit: Developmentally appropriate classrooms for young adolescents. Research on Motivation in Education, 3, 139-186.
Eccles, J. S., & Roeser, R. W. (2011). Schools, academic motivation, and stage-environment fit. In Handbook of Research on Student Engagement (pp. 43-61). Springer.
